- This piece is intended for audiences between the age of 17 to 25
- The purpose of this piece is to observe and look into someone elses life, making conclusions about our observations.
The bouquet of flowers in his hand was a dead giveaway. He had an unmistakable bounce in his step and a goofy smile across his face. Lucas was oblivious to his surroundings and seemed to be thinking of something better, someone better. Someone admirable, beautiful and someone he loved. He was genuinely happy and seemed as though nothing else around him mattered. Not the talks of recession, of people losing their jobs or of the crime rate going up. Lucas had no care in the world and was completely free of worries.
His attire was casual but it was easy to tell he had put a lot of effort into it. He looked sharp and he knew it. His black polo and fitted jeans looked just right on him. His dark rimmed glasses framed his face so well and gave him a sophisticated look. He demonstrated confidence with every step and every one around him was staring. Not only glancing over, but full on staring. He was handsome, but today more so than usual. His dark hair accentuated his glimmering green eyes and his bright smile.
One of his roses fell behind as he was turning the corner but no one bothered to pick it up. Lucas didn't notice and it wouldn't have affected him if he did anyway. He was too busy thinking about her.
Simple, sweet and enjoyable. I like how you developed your story by incorporating the outside world i.e crime,the recession, and the loss of jobs.It helped make your theme of love stand out a lot more.
ReplyDeleteIn your second last sentence, you wrote "him" twice, but other then that, I didn't notice any wrong.
I really love your opening line, "The bouquet of flowers in his hand was a dead giveaway." It really made me interested in the story, and I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteThere's a grammar mistake I found in the last sentence of the last paragraph. "He had no care in the world and was completely free OF worries."
Other than that, great job!
Oops, I mean the first paragraph
ReplyDeleteThanks James and Michelle :)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have noticed the mistakes otherwise :P