He Can't See Me Like This

• This monologue is intended for audiences between 18- 35
• The purpose of this monologue is to explore the importance people put on looks.
  

Nails check. Shirt, check. Shoes, double check. Hair, yup, check. This is perfect. I spent all morning getting ready for this afternoon and for once, everything seems as if it’s going to work out.

OH GREAT.

I spoke too soon. AGAIN.

The rain started pouring like cats and dogs. That's just great. I guess someone up there wants to punish me for thinking I had everything planned out. Just when I think that for once things were going to go my way, someone up there does something just to spite me.

THANKS!
THANKS A LOT!!

I need to find shelter because if I stay in this rain, not only my hair but clothes and shoes will get ruined. I guess Ill just wait under the roof of this little store until the rain stops. I have no other way of getting home without ruining everything.

I finally landed a date with Jared Weber, and of course things were never meant to go right for me. If the rain doesn't stop anytime soon I'm going to be late. And of course that's nothing new. I know I'm gong to be late and he’s going to get tired of waiting for me and he’s going to leave and he’s going to hate me for the rest of his life and there goes our chance of getting married on an exotic island and having 3 beautiful children and ...

Deep breath.

I need to relax and take a deep breath or else I will hyperventilate. Pull yourself together Marge. Let’s see what we can do to get out of the rain in time. I could call a taxi, but that would mean I would have to spend the rest of my money and maybe even money I don’t have. So scratch that. No taxi. How about the bus? Yes that’s reasonable, except the nearest bus stop is 5 minutes from here and even then; it doesn’t have a little bus shelter so I would get ruined. Oh god, he can’t see me like this. He would run away screaming!

The little coffee shop where I’m supposed to meet him is about 20 minutes away; maybe I can make it without looking like a complete witch by the end. Or maybe not.

What do I do, what do I do …

Okay Marge, spinning around in circles isn’t going to get you anywhere. But oh! Maybe this little store behind me sells umbrellas?